Déjà vu

The feeling of familiarity is not something we’ve experienced much on this cancer journey so far.  Everything has been unfamiliar and new to us.  Until this week.  On Monday Nico was supposed to start week 28 of treatment with his VAC chemo and an overnight hospital stay.  However, (can you guess?) his neutrophil counts were too low.  (Sound familiar?)  “Uh oh, is this going to be thing from now on?”  I push the thought from my mind and try to stay positive that by Friday his counts will have come up and we can get it done.  Today was Friday, and they did come up a tiny bit but not even close enough to where they would need to be to get his treatment.  Our nurse today spoke out-loud the thought I’ve been pushing aside and trying to ignore.  “This will probably be his new normal.  The bone marrow is tired, it just needs extra time to recover.”  Extra time.  Extra time means prolonging our end date.  *Insert-big-long-drawn-out-sigh-here.*  I think I started the countdown too soon.  Nick and I were starting to look forward to being done by the beginning of December.  The thought of being released from the world of cancer and set free to travel, take a much needed vacation and visit family was invigorating.  Most importantly, getting back to our home!  If Nico’s body is requiring an extra week of recovery then our end date will mostly likely be in January.  Ultimately, this is good.  This is good for us.  This is good for me.  Patience is not my strong suit (that’s an understatement.)  So I think back on the various times God’s timing was perfect but I was only able to see that in hindsight.  We are surrendering our timeline and know that at the end there will be a blessing added to my list of how God worked this out for Nico’s ultimate good.  And just to be clear, these delays are totally normal and although exasperating for us the oncology team see it very often at this point in treatment.

We’ve had a nice few weeks otherwise.  Week 27 of treatment was a breeze and last week we had a scheduled break in treatment so Nico has been feeling good which is always a huge blessing and makes our days easier.  We’ve used this time to catch up with practical tasks such as dentist appointments which had been canceled back in January.  V is happy to report that he is cavity free and he really enjoyed his visit to the dentist!

Last week Nico was invited to attend day camp at a local church and the theme was woodworking.  img_2945

They let me hang around since Nico has some separation anxiety but thanks to a sweet boy who took him under his wing he got comfortable super quickly.  Looking different and being shy make it hard for Nico to feel comfortable in new situations and around new people- especially children- that don’t understand why he has a tube in his nose.  The stares and questions bother him.  But the beauty of children is that once you explain it to them they move on and are ready to play.  Nick and I are usually close by to field any questions and it’s amazing how little it takes to satisfy their curiosity.  But there was one boy who didn’t ask any questions right away, he just made sure Nico was updated on the task at hand and gave him the run down on what he had missed earlier that day.  It really warmed my momma heart to see this.  Thanks to him, I was able to blend in the background and just be around in case he needed anything.  IMG_2949

We also got to visit the Greater Vancouver Zoo with some friends from Lillooet.  We had passed that zoo a few times and had given it much consideration but when our friends said they were going and asked if we wanted to join them we agreed and we are so glad we did!  We got a membership and are looking forward to going again soon.

We also got to go home and visit this past weekend.  It felt great to get to attend our home church in Lillooet at the Better Living Center.  We hadn’t been there since December or January- I can’t even remember!  They have been such an encouragement and support to us.  As well as our community of friends at the school where Nick works.  The school was having their annual picnic to kick off the school year and we were looking forward to attending but it was rainy and cold so we decided to head home early.  We didn’t get to see everyone we had hoped but we will be back to visit again soon hopefully.


4 thoughts on “Déjà vu

  1. Resilience should be on the list of virtues or the fruit of the Spirit.
    Maybe there are similar virtues that are named in the Bible, like perseverance, endurance… Regardlesss, you have it; you all do and it is so encouraging to acknowledge how great our loving God is who has abundantly provided His grace to get you all through this challenging experience…faithful promise, this too shall pass. We love you all!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Mrs. Coursey,

    I’m sad I wasn’t able to get to know you and your family better while I was working in the accounting office at Fountainview. I can truthfully say I really enjoyed my time there, working with Vautralise and Nick. Seeing the boys whenever they came to visit was always a splash of sunshine in my day. I know this has been tough for you and your family, but I just wanted to encourage you and say that I often think and pray for you guys. And thanks to Nick and Vautralise’s encouragement and training, as well as God’s guiding, in a couple of weeks I’ll begin studying to become an accountant myself. Thank you all for revealing the strength and courage possible when you hang onto God’s hand.

    I just wanted to say hi and that I am praying for your family.

    – Emily Mayfield

    “Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Emily!! Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words. And most importantly, thank you for the prayers! From what I’ve heard Nick say about the work you did at FA, you will be an awesome accountant! Blessings to you as you begin that journey.
      ❤ Mary


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